Struggling to get your lady friend a wonderful gift for Valentine’s Day? Pondering the perfect gift for your fella? Well, here are the five gifts you should avoid giving at all costs:

1. The slanket: This fleece monstrosity of a sleeved blanket looks more like an ill-fitting backwards bathrobe rather than something to get cosy with on that special night. By giving this to your significant other you are a) suggesting she’s fat or b) lacking any regard for his emotional well-being by forcing him to put on this thing.

2. A box of chocolates: There’s nothing more unimaginative than getting a glorified box that you can get at the 99p Store. Another way of telling your significant other: “I gave up looking for a great gift for you, so here’s this nice box for you, fatty!”

3. Anything from the Build-A-Bear Workshop: That was so noughties. Wake up, you’re in 2010!

4. Flowers: Nothing says I love you better than a bouquet of roses. Wouldn’t it be lovely to give your significant some decomposing material as a way of declaring your love? Not! By giving flowers, you have just announced the state of your relationship in these three words: "Dead on arrival."

5. Two tickets to see any romantic comedy (with dinner): Sure, ladies, you may gleefully look forward to seeing that heart-throb get the girl of his dreams or vice versa, but don’t ask your fella what he thinks of it once you guys leave the cinema for dinner. I have a feeling he won’t touch his pasta after that.