So that was the noughties.  The dreadfully-named decade that brought us 9/11, Barack Obama, a killer recession and lots of good old-fashioned celebrity death.  The Queen Mother, Heath Ledger and Patrick Swayze were amongst those who died, with 2009's most notable departure undoubtedly that of Michael Jackson.     

MJ's expiration saw him gain near god-like status, as fans allowed themselves to forget his recent misdemeanours and focused instead on the ultra-talented performer that he had once been.  Whilst Jacko's death was undoubtedly sad, few found much of a shock.   

In that spirit, RiverOnline takes a distasteful punt on who's most likely to follow MJ into The Great Beyond over the coming year and the [entirely imaginary] circumstances surrounding their demise.

1] Elizabeth Taylor:  8 times-married Dame Liz is a pale shadow of the violet-eyed goddess who starred in Cat On A Hot Tin Roof, Cleopatra and Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Scoliosis has confined 77 year-old Taylor to a wheelchair for the past few years, although she has made the occasional Lazarus-like appearance on stage unaided.  Ms. Taylor has spent recent years mired in rumours of Alzheimer's and sexual harassment, but if anyone's lived a full and exciting life, it's her.  We suspect it's only a matter of time before Ms. Taylor has an accident on the stairlift of her Bel-Air home, brought on by the weight of her magnificent jewellery collection.  DEATH ODDS: 5/2 

 2] Frankie Boyle:  2009 has been a good year for the ginger comedian, whose nasal Glaswegian whine found its way into millions of homes through BBC One's Mock The Week.  Mr Boyle's overwritten brand of controversial humour has seen his podcast sit steadfastly atop the iTunes download chart, whilst an autobiography, My Shit Life So Far, has also proved successful.  An alcoholic at 15, Mr Boyle quit his weekly newspaper column in July over claims the Daily Record refused to publish his take on the death of Michael Jackson.  Whilst a crude gag about the Queen attracted the ire of Daily Mail readers, Mr Boyle's joke about Olympic gold medallist Rebecca Adlington may well have put his life in danger.  We'd advise Mr Boyle to stay well-clear of swimming pools and any other unsupervised sports facility. DEATH ODDS: 250/1

3] Katie Price:  The pneumatic model has bored millions over the past year with tales of her divorce, latest romance and everything else that goes on during her waking hours.  31 year-old Ms. Price's popularity plummeted after divorcing has-been pop star Peter Andre and subsequently shacking up with crossing dressing cage-fighter Alex Reid.  Ms. Price was famously jealous of the blanket coverage given to dead reality racist Jade Goody last year, shoe-horning herself into Ms. Goody's halo at any opportunity, with her recent appearance on I'm A Celebrity perhaps done in the hope that a bite from a venomous animal would bring on sympathy-eliciting sickness.  With that option gone, it's likely that a murderous tussle will ensue with Mr Reid over whose turn it is to wear the gold lace thong.  DEATH ODDS: 400/1 

4] Ronnie Wood:  Sometime-Kingston resident Ronnie Wood has found himself in the papers for all the wrong reasons for the past two years, following the implosion of his marriage to loyal wife Jo.  The Rolling Stones' guitarist has led a wildly hedonistic life, famously snorting his dead father's ashes.   Having embarked on an extended fling with a 21 year-old Russian cocktail waitress, Mr Wood has gone from being a wily old rascal in the eyes of fans to something rather more grubby and less worthy of sympathy.  Although there are numerous obvious ways Mr Wood could make his exit, he's known for pulling surprises.  We expect a divorce/remarriage sometime soon, with the ceremony held in a zoo.  Nothing as obvious as a crocodile or polar bear to dispatch Mr Wood though - only the sharp beak of an angry flamingo would suffice.  DEATH ODDS: 10/1 

5] Margaret Thatcher:  Baroness Thatcher has done a good job of avoiding the grim reaper thus far, perhaps mindful of the pitchforks and extreme heat that some are certain await.  Britain's first woman PM has been plagued by ill-health over the past decade, including several strokes and - according to a 2008 autobiography by parasite daughter Carol - dementia that has left her unaware of husband Dennis' death. Whilst the 84-year old Baroness has a plethora of dangerous enemies, we worry about the bone density of the generation denied free milk by her infamous 1971 policy and wonder whether an osteoporotic 40-something could exact revenge by poisoning her tea.  DEATH ODDS: 7/3