If the media’s reaction was anything to go by last year’s expenses scandal must have been the biggest political scandal of all time.

Headlines like ‘Parliament's darkest day’ (The Times) and ‘Force alien MPs out of their black hole’ (The Sun) reflected the British publics righteous fury at catching their representatives with their collective hand in the till.

MP’s were accused of abusing the expenses system by claiming for everything from a cup of Horlicks (55p) to cleaning a moat (£2,000).

The leaders of all the main parties were vocal in their criticism of both the system and those who abused it. Gordon Brown said he was: “Angry and appalled” while David Cameron described events as: “Unethical and wrong.”

Not all MP’s were contrite in the face of public anger. Labour MP Michael Connarty asked: “Are we only allowed to buy things from the 99p store?” Mr Connarty claimed £183,466 in expenses for 2007/8 alone.

The people at the Oxford English Dictionary must have been working overtime with all the new words introduced to the language: ‘House-flipping’ switching which of your homes is called your main home to maximise allowance,  ‘Redacted’ trying to censor report by blacking out certain information, ‘Duckhouse’ expensive home for small water bound avian.

After all the fuss only three Labour MP’s and a Tory Lord will face charges for fraud.

Believe it or not this was not the first scandal to hit Parliament in it’s history. Here’s a selection of some of my favourites from the last 100 years. See how you think the expenses scandal compares to these.

5: Stephen Milligan

Almost too embarrassing for words. This promising Tory was found by his secretary after apparently accidently hanging himself while attempting autoerotic asphyxiation. He was naked except for stockings and a black bin liner over his head. Apparently a copy of Razzle isn’t good enough for some people. Mysteriously there was a segment of orange in his mouth.

The coroner recorded a verdict of ‘death by misadventure’ which is one of the great examples of understatement.

4: John Stonehouse

A Labour minister under Harold Wilson in the sixties, the seventies were not such a happy time for Mr Stonehouse.

The owner of several businesses that were in financial trouble Stonehouse started fiddling their accounts. He couldn’t have been that good at it as he soon learned the Department for Trade and Industry were investigating him.

Instead of facing the music he decided to fake his own death by leaving a pile of clothes on a Miami beach. Obituaries were published while he was secretly fleeing to Australia with his secretary (whose other job was as his mistress).

Despite using several false identities he was spotted and arrested. While awaiting trial he amazingly continued to serve as an MP. Perhaps the reason he wasn’t sacked straight away was that if he had been Labour would have become a minority Government. He got 7 years.

3: Jeffrey Archer

Where to start? Lord Archer has been involved in so many scandals I guess we’ll just stick with the big one.

In 1987 Archer sued the Daily Star after they reported that he paid Monica Coghlan, a prostitute, for sex after a representative of his was filmed giving her £2,000 in £50 notes.

During the trial Archer relied on the evidence of his wife Mary. Coghlan’s character came under intense scrutiny and she was forced to defend herself for sleeping with married men.

While giving guidance to the jury the Judge, Mr Justice Caulfield, asked them who they would believe, the “fragrant” Mrs Archer compared with Coghlan who he said provided “cold, unloving, rubber-insulated sex in a seedy hotel room.”

Archer was awarded £500,000 in damages.

In 1999 a former friend of Archer, Ted Francis, and his former PA Angela Peppiatt told the News of the World that they had proof that Archer had lied during the trial. At the time Archer was the Conservative candidate for Mayor of London.

Archer had to withdraw from the campaign to defend himself against these allegations of perjury. Seeing as he was guilty as sin this didn’t take long and he got four years and had to pay back the £500,000 and reportedly £1.3 million in costs.

While in prison he wrote 3 volumes of diaries which were said to have earned him over £1 million.

For further reading see the insider trading scandal involving Anglia and the financial irregularities involving the Simple Truth charity for Kurds in Iraq.

2: Jeremy Thorpe

In the early 1970’s a former male model named Norman Scott claimed to have had an affair with then leader of the Liberal Party Thorpe in the early 1960’s (a time when homosexuality was still illegal).

Thorpe denied this and was found to be telling the truth by a Liberal Party inquiry. This did not stop Scott making the claims.

So far so typical Liberal Party scandal (see Mark Oaten) but in 1975 things took a darker turn.

Scott was out walking a friends dog Rinka on Exmoor when he was attacked by Andrew Newton, who had a gun. Newton shot Rinka then aimed the gun at Scott. Unfortunately for Newton the gun misfired and he was arrested (who says there’s never a policeman around when you need one?).

After serving a year or so for dogocide Newton claimed he had been hired as a hit-man to kill Scott.

Thorpe was tried for conspiracy to murder in 1979. Former Liberal MP Peter Bessell claimed that he had witnessed plans by Thorpe and others in the Liberal Party to shoot Scott and drop his body down a mineshaft. His evidence lacked credibility however as he had sold his story to the Sunday Telegraph in a deal that would see him earn more money if Thorpe was convicted.

Thorpe was cleared after the judge gave a summing up strongly in his favour though the jury was still split.

In a further twist then Prime Minister, Harold Wilson, asked to see Scott’s security file to see if there was a conspiracy to damage Thorpe.

The file was missing.

1: The Profumo Affair

This one really has it all. Sex, lies, spies and of course politicians.

John Profumo was the Secretary of State for War (now known as Defence) in the early 60’s.

He had a brief affair with showgirl Christine Keeler. So far so typical.

The problem was that Keeler was also having an affair with Soviet spy Yevgeny Ivanov.

Seeing as this was at the hight of the cold war the implications for national security were obvious.

Profumo then lied to Parliament saying that there was “no impropriety whatever" in his relationship with Keeler. In fact he had broken it off after being warned by MI5.

Although no proof was ever found MI5 agent Peter Wright in his autobiography Spycatcher claimed he was convinced that an attempt had been made by the Soviets to gain secrets from Profumo through Keeler.

I guess after all that charging the taxpayer for your bath plug doesn’t seem so bad, does it?

 “Labour isn’t working.” So runs the tagline over Saatchi and Saatchi’s famous 1979 election poster, one of the most significant advertisements of the twentieth century.  With its image of a dole queue snaking into the distance it contributed to the first of four consecutive Tory victories. 

In 2010, with another exhausted Labour government, the Conservatives have papered the country with their new posters. But in the first UK election with a fully fledged social media culture, the traditional political poster might have had its day. 

The Tories purportedly spent £500, 000 on the “We can’t go on like this...I’ll cut the deficit, not the NHS” David Cameron posters alone. The mockery which spontaneously and organically ensued is far more effective and credible than any counter campaign which Labour could have devised themselves. And of course, it cost them precisely nothing. 

On roadsides around the country, Cameron’s face has been adjusted by local daubers. In Hackney, a splash of shocking red writing tells him in no uncertain terms to take himself “back to Eton.” However, the website Mydavidcameron.com has been far more significant, and largely more mischievous than vitriolic. The site enables visitors to complete the posters with their own messages and to alter the Tory leader’s image. The funniest results are displayed by the website. 

The subsequent “I’ve never voted Tory before, but...” trio of posters immediately received the same treatment. Within hours of the new images being unveiled, #I’venevervotedtory became the UK’s biggest trending topic on Twitter. Social networks have opened up what Alistair Campbell dubs “a new communications landscape,” where anyone and everyone can share their opinions on politicians and their antics in real time and with minimal effort on their part. Obama’s campaign proved that social networking could be harnessed to facilitate the spread of real conviction. But it can also help satire to spread faster than wildfire in a paper forest.

We live in a cynical, digital age, where the average voter is not only disillusioned by politics but alert to the manipulations of the media and advertising.  The Tory posters are perhaps too sincere, too palpably keen to invoke a cult of personality around Cameron and to appeal to homey middle England.  In many ways, the giant head-shots and half-finished phrases practically cry out to be defaced. They are the marketing equivalent of a “kick-me” sign, too tempting even to those without an active aversion to Cameron.  Indeed, the Conservatives are refusing to take the joke personally, at least in public. Their press office said: “That’s just something that happens to posters. It’s nothing political.”

If you can see a bandwagon coming, it’s probably too late to jump on. Several rightwards-leaning websites have since attempted to redress the balance with rival poster websites, and Mydavidcameron.com founder Clifford Singer has announced that the site won’t be spoofing any more Conservative posters. Mr Singer explained: “The fact that the Tories are now trying to get in on the joke can only suggest one thing: we’ve reached our sell-by date.”

By Hannah Rogers

The words 'politics' and 'style icon' are rarely put together. When we think of MPs we picture ill-fitted suits, dull shirts and comedy ties which could have been bought from the local charity shop bargain bin.

Most do not have the model looks or body to accompany a designer wardrobe and, for some, power does not bring style.

Boris Johnson, Mayor of London, was ranked fourth in GQ magazine's worst dressed list describing his style as, “Charlie Chaplin… with a touch of Laurel and Hardy, more Hardy then Laurel”.

The Boris fashion archive is bursting with style mishaps including Hawaiian beach shorts, head scarves and his cycling attire.

With his wild mop of hair and ‘I got dressed in the dark’ look there appears to be something almost adorable about Boris’ style.

His unusual ensembles and ‘that hair’ have won him unlikely admiration in the fashion world leading to an invitation to open London Fashion Week this February.

Boris was the unlikely candidate to be placed on the November 2009 front cover of Elle magazine to celebrate the 25^th anniversary of London Fashion Week.

Nobody appears as surprised at this unusual combination than the man himself, “Who would have expected me to grace an Elle cover?”

 Boris gets top marks for innovation and is by far the most well known politician for his fashion statements.

There is a distinct line between Gordon and Sarah Brown. She recently broke into the fashion scene staging a fashion show in collaboration with top model Naomi Campbell.

Mrs Brown has lifted her hem line and flowered from shrinking violet to a lady dressed in a bouquet of garments by top names and in sassy prints.

The First Lady held her own amongst the fashion industry big names at a range of parties, shows and events during London Fashion Week in February.

Many fashion critics have praised her for bringing fashion and politics together. However, there is an area still being neglected: her husband’s wardrobe.

Gordon Brown was named Britain’s worst dressed male by GQ in 2009 and was declared, “anything but a prime example of British style”.

Brown’s signature look, along with his bemused glaze, is a dark crumpled suit that leaves the fashion pack shuddering. 

When he became Prime Minister Brown was persuaded by his advisors to ditch his crumpled look for a more modern wardrobe.

He enlisted the help of Savile Row tailor Timothy Everest, the man behind David Beckham’s wedding suit, whose minimum charge is the tidy sum of £1,100. However, the costly help from stylists has resulted in Brown being pushed up to the top spot from third in 2008.

As with Brown, David Cameron’s wife Samantha has won praise for her wardrobe choices and innate style.

Whilst Cameron and Brown battle it out to become king at No.10 their wives are tightening their hold of their designer handbags for a battle of style.

The job of a MPs wife, or so it seems, is to look the part- feminine, strong and stylish. Samantha has this role perfected, stepping out in girly, floaty garments putting style back into politics.

Mr Cameron appears to be struggling to keep up with his wife’s new found style sense.

At a recent film premier Cameron took to the carpet in a bad black shirt, baggy jeans and ‘trendy’, lime green trainers leaving fashion critics reeling.

The Telegraph’s Style Director Hilary Alexander referred to this fashion faux pas as “not a good look” and branded Cameron “Mr Drab”.

His wardrobe echoes that of his policies; unclear and confusing. Perhaps Samantha should grab him by his oversized shirt and march him down to the nearest Paul Smith for a outfit that oozes confidence and style.

The Lib Dems leader Nick Clegg is the most fashion savvy of our men of power. His dress down look usually includes a v neck jumper harboring a crisp shirt with one button undone or as some might say smart/casual.

There are no fashion boundaries being broken but Clegg neither does not try too hard. It achieves a simple, clean and effective look.

Male MPs are not the only fashion sinners who grace the leather benches of the Commons. There is a certain lack of fashion statements from the female representatives. This male dominated world seems to have left its mark on female MPs' wardrobes.

There are 125 female MPs out of 646 seats and in a man’s world the way to get yourself heard over the banter between parties is to dress the part. Some are successful while others fade in to the rows of large tummies covered by dull suits.

Last year, GQ magazine put MP Jacqui Smith in the ‘men’ category of their famous worst dressed list criticising her for her  masculine “white blazer and sensible haircut”.

However, her debut as Home Secretary was remembered largely for her low neckline, a look sported weeks later by Theresa May.  

The life of a female MP can be a struggle, balancing the life or an MP with that of a wife and mother. Fashion is some cases can be left at the bottom of the pile.

Boris on the front cover of Elle? Mr Brown posing for fashion paps at London Fashion Week? Could this be the beginning of the fashion/politics revolution?

Look out Westminster I feel a wave of style descending upon those green leather benches.

The Liberal Democrat MP for Richmond Park and North Kingston has claimed that only her party have the interests of students at heart.

Susan Kramer, who has a majority of only 3,731, is facing stiff competition from the Conservative candidate Zac Goldsmith and has urged students to help her retain her seat.

According to Ms Kramer the Liberal Democrats are the party that most closely represents students’ opinions.

She said: “We are a progressive party and when I talk to students I find that there is a very common set of views.”

Ms Kramer believes these views range from an history of opposition to the Iraq war, concern for the environment and scrapping student tuition fees.

“The whole focus of our party is when we’re making choices on where we spend money it has very much been on people who are at the beginning of their life. It’s a longer term view and it crystallises in our position on student tuition fees.”

Until recently, the Liberal Democrats have supported abolishing student tuition fees. They now wish to phase out fees over a six year period.

“I think we’ve got to get rid of student tuition fees. Given the deficit we’re trying to cope with we just can’t do things as quickly we could have otherwise.”

Ms Kramer believes that anyone not wishing to have a Conservative MP should vote Liberal Democrat.

She said: “If you're not likely to be the winning party in an area, the way you then get the most use out of your vote is to consider who you don’t want to be the winning party in the area.”

“I don’t like the system, but that’s the system that I have to work with and it’s the reality that students should be aware of.”

Ms Kramer has been criticised by Mr Goldsmith for attempting to smear him using a 'Liberal Democrat Attack Unit', a claim she denies.

Ms Kramer said: "We don't have a Liberal Democrat Attack Unit. I have a strong suspicion he's looking at Conservative structure and assuming we have the same resources and same set up that they have."

After hearing KU's Vice-Chancellor, Sir Peter Scott's, call for students to vote Labour Ms Kramer compared this to someone in church telling people how to vote.

She said: “I’ve never thought that’s particularly appropriate.”

However, she agreed with him that students should get out and vote.

“I would rather they vote and voted for another party than not vote.”

To find out more about the policies of Susan Kramer and the Liberal Democrats visit www.libdems.org.uk or www.susankramer.org.uk.

May 1 1997, Channel 5 begins broadcasting and R Kelly is top of the singles chart with I Believe I Can Fly.  The election results are in.  Tony Blair and New Labour have ousted the Conservative party as the country’s leaders after 18 years. 

Four years on and Labour’s reign over British politics continues as they cruise through another election with a majority of 167 in Parliament.  R.E.M. sit triumphantly at the number one spot in the album chart with Reveal and low slung jeans with thongs as ‘decoration’ are all the rage. 

After the Thatcher years, bringing down the Tories was politically significant but what had secured Blair’s success?  Campaign songs that demonstrated that he understood the importance of music and celebrity for the youth of Britain. 

With an election looming, what are Gordon Brown’s chances of capturing the country’s spirit and emulating the success of ‘Cool Britannia’ in time to secure student votes?  Or does David Cameron have the upper hand?

Conor O’Dowda, a 2^nd year Aerospace Engineering and Astronautics with Space Technology student, offered: “Of the two of them [Brown and Cameron], Cameron seems the more media savvy.  They will just do as they are told by their advisors, though, with every effort to put themselves in the headlines.”

The arts saw a resurgence in the lead up to the ’97 election.  Kings of Britpop, Oasis, released the album Definitely Maybe in 1994 becoming the fastest selling first release by a band.  The album encapsulated Britain’s frustrations after the 90-92 recession with songs titled Live Forever and Cigarettes and Alcohol.  Reckless abandon and invincibility were the order of the day.   

Tony Blair capitalised on Oasis’ popularity and, invited them along with other cool kids of the arts boom, Vivienne Westwood and Simon Mayo, to a celebrity packed party at Number 10 just months after booting out John Major.  Caught on camera shaking Noel Gallagher’s hand, Blair was celebrated as the most ‘down with the kids’ Prime Minister the country had ever seen.      

Fastforward 13 years and Oasis are no more, despite winning Brits Album of 30 Years last month for (What’s The Story) Morning Glory.  Noel was left out of the acceptance speech mumbled by brother Liam who has since entered into a slanging match with national treasure, Pete Kay.  Current PM, Gordon Brown, has no musical hand to cling on to.

Joe Gardner, a 1^st year Creative Writing and Journalism student, adds: “It looks like Gordon’s given up on the whole smiling thing.  I think he’s better off just being his miserable stoic self.  At least you know what you’re getting.”    

Now that we’re in the Age of the X, perhaps Brown could befriend JLS or Cheryl Cole to boost his media persona. But after crowd crushes at the former’s early gigs and Cole’s marriage breakdown, these may not be the wisest choices of celebrity friends.

Olivia Edwards, a 3^rd year Drama student, thought Brown or Cameron might appear on Eastenders after Boris Johnson’s starring role.  “Or maybe there will be a special Jeremy Kyle show”, she added. 

Instead, Brown opted for tearful telly interview with media mogul supreme, Piers Morgan – which may have lost more fans than it won.

Leader of the Opposition, David Cameron, has set up “Webcameron” so his fans can follow his every move – surely the mark of a man who understands a generation used to having information at the touch of a button.

“No doubt Cameron has got more tricks up his sleeve.  Personally I think he comes across a bit slimey.  You wonder if he’ll really still be tying his bike to the railings of Downing Street if he wins or if he will go back to the Chelsea tractor?” comments Joe. 

The winner of the next election will be the politician that takes part in and understands the British media.  Wives attending fashion events and a little webcam will not be enough.  Pictures of Gordon Brown and Dizzee Rascal grabbing a coffee or David Cameron and Jordan falling out a nightclub may never happen but it would boost their rating in the celebrity hierarchy. 

Conor, 21, would like to see Cameron out on the town with Russell Brand while Joe, 20, thought Stephen Fry would make the perfect politician’s companion “because I think he’d make them see sense.”   

One thing is certain, after Blair’s choice of campaign song in ’97 insisting that Things Can Only Get Better, both Brown and Cameron should definitely choose their songs wisely. 

Kingston’s Lib Dem MP Ed Davey has joined Twitter in the belief that it will help him connect with younger voters, after encouragement from Kingston students.

Although social networks were still in their infancy at the 2005 general election, they could potentially play an important role in this year’s contest, particularly in harnessing the youth vote.

Kingston University’s Liberal Democrat society suggested that Mr Davey start using the micro-blogging site. He told RiverOnline: “I have only just joined Twitter, the University students advised me to use it.”

Judith Abanto, co-president of the society, described the appeal of Twitter to student voters: “Reading long political columns when you have to study maths or chemistry doesn’t always sound realistic, but you can have Twitter on your phone...a 140 character message is clear and to the point.”

In the Lib Dem newsletter Kingston and Surbiton Voice, Mr Davey said: “I was sceptical at first, but it's as easy as texting. It's had a great response, especially from younger people. MPs must make it easy for everyone to engage with politics."

However, several Kingston students nevertheless suggested that the majority of their peer group tend to use Twitter to connect with their friends or track celebrities, rather than for political engagement. Sophie Osterberg, a third year Human Resources Management student, said: “It’s a good idea but unfortunately I don’t think it’s going to help him win-over new student voters. If you don’t already have the interest in politics, you’re not going to look him up on Twitter.”

Leaked emails from Tory spin doctor Steve Hilton have revealed that the Conservatives are also eager to “e-woo” the younger voter. However, Kingston’s Tory candidate Helen Whately worries that overreliance on social media could leave older members of the electorate behind. She said: “It's important not to forget the traditional methods of communication as well. Lots of older residents don't use the internet and I do my best to make sure they don't miss out on information because of that.”

These misgivings about Twitter are shared by David Cameron, who caused a mild furore last year when he told a radio presenter: “too many tweets might make a twat.”

Ms Whately doubts that the network provides the best way for MPs to connect with their electorate. She said: “It may be good for broadcasting an opinion, but is it so good for listening? How many politicians actually read the tweets of their voters?” RiverOnline attempted to contact both Ed Davey and Susan Kramer, the Liberal Democrat MP for Richmond Park, on Twitter but neither replied.

Kingston’s Green Party candidate has criticized all the main parties for trying to jump on a green bandwagon in the run-up to the election.

Chris Walker claims the main parties have endorsed many of his party’s policies and dressed them up as their own. However, he remained skeptical as to their dedication to implementing these policies and to fully addressing environmental concerns.

Mr Walker made clear that it was the Green Party’s aim to push the other parties to take on their policies.  He said: “We are the only party to say, if you get elected with our policies, good on you.  However if the main parties and the Government were really that green, then you wouldn’t need a Green Party.”

Conservative candidate for Richmond Park, Zac Goldsmith declared that his party was the strongest on environmental issues, by saying: “Our manifesto will be the greenest manifesto of any serious political party in the developed world, ever.”

Mr Goldsmith added that he thought the Green Party should be more of a “glorified lobby group” than a political party.  He said “I think the problem with the green party is that they behave as if they might form a government and we all know they won't.” 

However, Mr Walker responded to this by saying he did not think there was anything of any substance in the Conservatives’ environmental campaign.  He said: “With the Torys it’s just a green-wash.  A lot of the Tory’s policies they knicked from us five years ago, which is fine.  But as soon as they get in they will be back to their old ways.”

Meanwhile, Liberal-Democrat MP for Kingston, Ed Davey, maintained that green issues are fundamental to his party’s agenda.  He said: “Every effort to increase recycling has been proposed by the Liberal Democrats - we have proved that we do not just talk about it, we act upon it.”

With the general election looming, climate change and environmental policies will be at the forefront of party manifestos, but whether they will be fully and successfully implemented remains to be seen.

The National Union of Students is warning politicians to pay attention to student issues or pay the price in the upcoming elections.

The NUS has launched the Vote for Students campaign with the aim of getting students across the country to make their voices heard and demonstrate how powerful of a demographic they are.

With students representing nearly 15 per cent of the voting population the NUS hope to secure a more stable future for students in the UK by supporting candidates that champion students.

Wes Streeting, NUS President, said: “In many seats up and down the country the student vote can make a decisive difference. Through this campaign we hope to remind students of the power they hold.”

The campaign endorses politicians who are willing to support students and Mr. Streeting was quick to warn candidates of the dangers of not taking the student vote seriously.  “Our message to candidates is simple; vote for us or pay the price.”

The Vote for Students website offers students information about candidates standing for election in their area and whether or not they have signed the petition in support of the campaign. The NUS hope that this information will encourage students to vote for the relevant student friendly candidates.

Susan Nash, VP of Society and citizenship at the NUS, said: “We have launched this campaign to insure that our interests are secured. Students have the power to shape this election.”

The power of the student vote has been specifically highlighted in the top 20 "student battlegrounds" as identified by the NUS: Newcastle, Manchester, Liverpool, Birmingham, Sheffield, Reading, Cambridge, London, Southampton, Bristol, Leeds, Oxford, Durham, Exeter, Norwich, Brighton, Lancaster, Nottingham, Plymouth and Lincoln.

With these key areas in mind students are being encouraged to vote for candidates who support the campaign whether that be in their hometown constituency or where they study.

Steve Head, a second-year  English Literature student at Kingston University said: “Politicians need to realise that students care about their future.” He added: “Of course I would be more inclined to vote for candidates who support us, for myself and the next generation of students.”

Further information on the campaign can be found at www.voteforstudents.co.uk

With the election only a few months away, all prospective candidates are limbering up for a final sprint to the door of No. 10.  The stakes are high, given the increasingly narrow poll gap between Labour and the Conservatives, meaning the slightest PR slip-up could prove disastrous.  Here’s some common sense advice both parties should listen to, in order to maximise their chances of Election-day success. 

Beware of popular culture.

There’s nothing more toe-curling than politicians doing pop music.  Cherie Blair caterwauling ‘When I’m 64’ and Gordon Brown admitting a fondness for the Arctic Monkeys saw ridicule heaped on both, whilst David Cameron’s smug claim that Radiohead had granted a song request saw him receive a sharp rebuke from lead singer Thom Yorke, who denied the politician’s claims.  Stick to Radio 2 folks!

Keep your vocal chords in check.

A calm, earnest-sounding voice is crucially important for any wannabe MP.  Those in possession of less honeyed tones could do worse than to follow the example set by Margaret Thatcher in employing a vocal coach to lower her paint-strippingly shrill voice into something more bearable.  Here’s looking at you, Gideon George Oliver Osborne. 

Flaunt your family with caution.

Whilst being a “family man” [or woman] is strong political currency, most Westminster bigwigs have wisely chosen to keep their loved ones out of the spotlight.  John Gummer shoveling a hamburger into his four year-old daughter’s mouth at the height of the BSE scare in 1989 provoked howls of outrage.  Guard their privacy to avoid allegations of exploitation. 

Be honest about your educational background.

Many politicans choose – unwisely – to play down their educational background.  David Cameron’s haughty dismissal of his top-notch schooling as “corny” seems odd, particularly in light of the phone call from Buckingham Palace to Tory HQ on the morning of his first interview, when an unnamed regal voice gave Dave a glowing reference.  Far better to work hard and wait for your reward come the next reshuffle. 

Appoint ministers solely on the basis of previous experience. 

Summer 2009 saw a vanity appointment backfire spectacularly, as MP Caroline Flint left office amid a flurry of unhinged-sounding statements.  Vampy Flint accused Gordon Brown of treating her as glamorous window dressing.  Which seems fair, given her admission that as Minister for Europe she hadn’t bothered to read the Lisbon Treaty, setting out the function and rules of EU. 

Guard your briefing papers carefully.

Top anti-terror cop Bob Quick was sacked last year after emerging from Downing Street carrying secret papers which forced MI5 to bring forward a terror operation.  Andy Burnham clung onto his job after leaving papers marked “restricted” on a train, whilst Caroline Flint [her again] faced flak after walking into No 10 in 2007 carrying papers admitting “We don’t know how bad the housing crisis will get.”  Just use your bloody briefcase!

 Don’t get preachy.

Few tears were shed over the downfall of Evangelical Northern Irish MP Iris Robinson last month.  Having used the Bible to condemn gays as “worse than paedophiles” money-grabbing Iris was revealed as a rampant cougar who’d been bedding the 19 year-old son of a dead lover.  Iris’ Shady financial dealings also ended her husband Peter’s career as Northern Ireland First Minister, proving that the family who pray together don’t necessarily stay together. 

Don’t try to be faux-frugal.

“Isn’t she lovely?  And so in keeping with the mood of the nation!”  Trilled Tory sympathisers last summer, as Samantha Cameron hit the party conference in a pair of £29 Zara stilettos and a £65 polka-dot M&S dress.  What a contrast to champagne socialist Sarah Brown, in her £800 Erdem frock.  Until it emerged that luxury goods CEO Sam had commissioned a bespoke copy of the dress from its original designer.  From woman of the people to Marie Antoinette in one fell swoop.  Oops. 

Pay your taxes.

Tax represents a political hot potato, but that didn’t stop Tory eco-bore Zac Goldsmith trying to avoid it.  Goldsmith shuffled uncomfortably when his non-dom tax status was revealed late last year, quickly conceding that he’d done the wrong thing.  Sadly, his admission came too late to salvage his status as a Tory maverick.  If you’re going to be part of the team that sets income tax rates, make sure you’re paying your own.

Avoid green issues.

In rushing to leap on the green bandwagon, many MPs leave themselves open to accusations of hypocrisy.   David Cameron’s smug championing of eco-friendly Big trainers was toe-curling.  As was his insistence on being photographed cycling to work, followed [at a discreet distance] by a car carrying his briefcase.  Most voters are happy to subsidise the odd ministerial Jag, knowing that to do so props up the almost non-existent British car industry. 

Despite leaden skies and patchy rain on a cold December afternoon, over 50,000 people from organisations, charities, universities and even schools marched through the heart of London, holding placards aloft –  saying ‘Protect The Poorest’ and ‘Climate Change Kills’ – at The Wave . They were joined by 23 KU students, lecturers and staff in a bid to save the world.

Dressed in blue, with blue painted faces and hands, they danced, drummed and chanted to urge the Government to strike a deal at the climate change summit in Copenhagen to slow global warming.

In Copenhagen, the outlook for agreement is looking increasingly bleak. The summit is in a desperate state, so much so that on Tuesday, PM Gordon Brown flew out two days early in a bid to “raise the ambitions” of the delegates and get proceedings back on track.

Charlotte Zakss, a third year sustainable development student, said: “I believe very strongly that by making our presence known on this march we helped give Ed Miliband the backup he needs to persuade Gordon Brown to support him at the summit with further financial incentives.”

One of the major stalling points in Copenhagen is how much the west will have to contribute to help the poorest nations become greener.

Morris Marah, President of the United Nations Association of KU (UNAKU) who spoke on BBC Radio Four, said: “The leaders came together at the G20 summit and fixed the financial crisis. The same seriousness should be applied to climate change.”

The bloody, violent protests on the streets of Copenhagen, in which almost 1500 activists have been arrested in the last few days, and the bleak situation the summit finds itself in, is a world away from the peaceful optimism of The Wave march - the UK's biggest ever action on climate change - 12 days ago where families and small children turned out to support the demonstration set up by Stop Climate Chaos Coalition.

 Nicole Milloy, a second year sustainable development student, said: “Attending The Wave was moving, heart-warming and inspirational.  Seeing thousands upon thousands of people, of all ages, race and religions joining together to campaign for one vital cause was amazing.”

But only one in a thousand of KU’s 23,000 students turned out to support the issue that has surpassed the global economic crisis as the world’s leading debate. The lack of attendance could be explained as “a matter of priority” with many students facing deadlines at this time of year.

Miss Zakss went on to say: “Personally, I thought it was a real shame that not more Kingston students were there - this is going to affect all of us, we can't hide from it, and no seems to be bothered to do anything about it!”