Standing on the platform at Surbiton Station, 23 year-old Kingston student Simon checked his phone as it buzzed.  He expected the text message to be from the friend he was meeting for drinks in London that evening.  What had arrived in its place almost made him faint.

“The number looked vaguely familiar, but I hadn’t saved it.  Opening the message, I had no idea of the nightmare that was about to begin.  It was from someone I’d been seeing up until the week previously and just said: ‘I’ve been diagnosed HIV-positive – you need to go and get checked.’” 

Simon only has vague memories of the remainder of that evening, but clearly recalls the anger and upset.  

“I felt like throwing myself in front of one of the fast trains at the station.  I’m usually very careful with my sexual health, but I’d been reckless once with this guy.  I was certain I’d gotten the virus and ran through all the worst-case scenarios in my head.” 

As it had been more than 72 hours since the episode in question, Simon was unable to take PEP, a potent combination of drugs that can reduce the chances of HIV infection by up to 80%.  Instead, he was faced with an agonising 12 week wait – the amount of time it can take for HIV to show up in the bloodstream.  

“The text coincided with the summer holidays, which meant I sat twiddling my thumbs at home all summer worrying about it.  I walked in on my mum watching Philadelphia one evening and had to leave the room – I know treatments have moved on a lot since then, but I was still convinced that a life of illness and an early death were all I had to look forward to.”

Having endured the 3 month wait, Simon took a 60 second test at the Mortimer Market Centre, one of Europe’s leading centres for HIV treatment.

“The health advisor who did it with me was fantastic.  She was very honest and explained that whilst HIV isn’t an easy disease to catch, I had taken a risk that exposed me to it.  We talked through both outcomes and she outlined the help and support at hand if the test was positive.  Even with that, the relief at finding out I was still HIV-negative was huge – I was smiling for the rest of the day.”

However, there was still one further shock in store for Simon, who now felt sufficiently confident to contact his ex-partner to talk about what had happened.

“He’d been a bit reticent when it came to using condoms in general, so I phoned him for a chat.  I was really shocked by his attitude – he more or less shrugged off his diagnosis, saying that modern HIV treatment would help him live a normal life-span, and that he was glad not to have to worry about his status any longer.  His apathy really frightened me.”

Although the notion of HIV and Aids as exclusively gay diseases has long since been dispelled, infection rates have continued to rise within the gay community, from  1,450 a year in 1999 to 2,830 recorded diagnoses in 2007.  One in eight gay men in London is estimated to have the disease.  

For a small minority, the apparently unstoppable rise of HIV is too stressful to bear.  Rather than live in fear, they try to to contract the disease on their own terms. Known as Bug Chasers, these men seek out HIV infection through online 'chasing' forums. 

One such 'chaser' is John, a 20 year-old Law student from Guildford,  He says:

“I just want to get it over with.  The anxiety of waiting for the test results to come back is too much.  Far better to become HIV-positive and get on with your life without having to worry about it.”

Andy, a 41 year-old artist from King’s Cross claims to have successfully sought out and caught the virus.

“I lost my parents when I was young and didn’t feel the need to behave responsibly.  It got to the stage where I wanted to contract HIV, because I knew the way I was behaving was going to lead to it anyway.  When I was eventually diagnosed, I pretended to be gutted and regretful when telling my friends, although secretly I was made-up.”

Andy was diagnosed with the virus in 2003 and has since developed full-blown Aids. He refuses to take the powerful HAART therapy that has vastly improved the health of men and women living with HIV.

Andy explains: “I intentionally sought out HIV.  It would be wrong of me to use up NHS resources that have more deserving recipients.  I’m not sure how many years I have left to live, but I’ve accepted that I’ll die of an Aids-related illness.”

The Terrence Higgins Trust, the UK's first and largest HIV charity, refused to comment, although an unofficial source at the charity said they felt the concept of ‘Bug Chasing’ was greatly exaggerated.

“Most of the guys who do that are either just seeking attention or already positive.  There’s no doubt a few are serious about it, but the outcry this subject provokes is disproportionate to how widespread it actually is.  That said, the problem with apathy towards HIV is more serious.  We have to promote understanding and respect for those already living with the virus whilst trying to prevent others from transmitting it in the first place.”   

Kingston University’s LGBT Society also questioned how widespread the Bug Chasing phenomenon actually is. Co-President Adam Spawton-Rice says:  

 “It's ignorance about the statistics surrounding HIV and safe practices which means gay men are at risk. Why are we ignorant? Because of sensationalist articles which make individuals nervous about seeking information or advice."

However, Gary Leigh, founder of Life or Meth, feels that in trying to prevent prejudice towards sufferers and reposition it as a manageable illness, HIV charities have downgraded the seriousness of the virus to the point where many see it as a mere inconvenience, akin to diabetes.   

“Regardless of how HIV/AIDS has been rebranded in recent years, it remains a terminal condition and life-long health risk with no cure in sight. Acquisition demands the abandonment of personal freedom and complete dependency on a regimented supply of costly, toxic drugs supplied by the state to survive and function.” 

With HIV infection rates expected to rise further over the next few years, debate continues as to how reverse this disturbing trend. Many feel that hard hitting prevention campaigns, such as 1987's horrifying 'Tombstone' TV-advert, only serve to isolate existing sufferers and frighten people off going for tests.   However, others cite the rocketing numbers of diagnoses as proof that sensitive, subtle advertising has failed. Simon’s  brush with HIV has left him feeling contemplative about the illness.

“I had three months to think about it whilst I waited for the test and read up as much as I could.  There’s definitely more hope for those suffering with HIV now than there was fifteen years ago.  You might live until your seventies, the side-effects of the drugs might be relatively benign, and you might never become resistant to them.  That said, I’m glad those possibilities aren’t ones I have to worry about.”